Welcome! Nuestra Casa Es Su Casa ...Our house is your house

A glimpse into the life of Daniel and Jaynee Lockwood and their 12 precious blessings. Thank you for visiting; we pray that what we share here may always bring glory to our wonderful God and Saviour. May you praise the Lord with us for the great things He has done and continues to do as we serve Him sharing the gospel here in the little town of Cuidad Insurgentes, BCS Mexico. He alone is good and faithful!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Follow me

( No, I am not taking about that button where you can "follow" a blog :) )
Daniel just took...hmm...let me subtract...five of the children with him to see if they can get some parts needed to fix the children's bikes. Elijah and Benjamin are across the street working for our neighbor, the four youngest are napping, and Isaiah is sick resting on the couch.
I haven't updated here near as much as I would like; quiet moments like these are rare :-). Although the house has seemed strangly quiet since Uncle Joel, Aunt Deborah and the cousins left...we had a wonderful time, are so thankful for their willingness to come visit, and miss them already.
I've been feeling sick again this week with what appears to be another bladder/kidney infection. The fevers make the 90+ degree weather feel pleasant :)
The Lord has used this past year to teach me so much. How thankful I am for His love, patience, mercy and faithfulness!
One of the things He has taught me is simple trust and faithfulness. I remember when Daniel was so sick last year and the doctors told us he had cancer. I remember how the Lord was so gracious in carrying me through those trying days. How I had to lean completely on Him; and how wonderfully and sweetly He poured out His comfort, grace, and strength!
I remember writing in my journal a couple weeks after Daniel got home about how discouraged I was. Here I felt that I had gone through such a big trial and now on the other side of it, I was struggling with so many "little things".
And again the last few months I have felt very much the same way. How many "big" trials we have passed through, yet how often it is the "little" things Satan uses to bring doubts, fears, discouragement, or discontentment.
It is natural to cling to the Lord as we are going through times of great uncertainty. It is natural when your world seems to be falling all around you to constantly be in communion with the God who is sovereign over all. It is natural to want to seek Him through prayer, His Word, and how tender our hearts become. The Psalmist said, "It is good for me to have been afflicted that I might learn thy statutes" (Ps. 119:71)
But during the "calms" it is equally important...vital...to be in constant communion with our Lord. How He has shown me that this year!
How He has shown me how very weak I am. Satan loves to take that thought there and use it to scare me. I would look at my precious children and feel so overwhelmed at the task at hand! And no matter how much I planned, prepared, worked, and prayed, often times things seemed to be spirling down hill faster than I could possibly keep up. The home schooling, training, attitudes, their tender hearts, the work of the home, our dear brothers and sisters in Christ in our church...I felt I could not possibly care for all the needs there were!
I know the Lord makes no mistakes and I knew that He had chosen to make me the mommy of our children and place me here in Mexico to be a help meet to my husband. And slowly I began to realize how much I was relying on myself. Even in my times of prayer, I wasn't truly trusting the Lord as I needed to. And you know, with just that realization, the Lord began to change my heart.
Daniel was preaching on Revelation Wednesday night at church. What a glorious book! During the message he read a verse in John. I actually don't even remember what the point was he was making with this verse because as soon as he read it, the Lord spoke to my heart.
John 21:22- "Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me."
Over the past several weeks, I had let my mind think about how things would be so much easier if only I was in "such and such a place" or if I had "this or that" or if "this happened" or this person was "this way". When I opened my Bible to this verse and read it, the Lord spoke to me.
"Follow me Jaynee." How I want to know the Lord more! How often I fall! But I know that no matter how much of a mess I make of things, the Lord is always loving me, always there, always ready to forgive, and I can instantly trust and follow Him.
This week has been so wonderful! Has He changed? NO! But He has changed me! :-)
Day by day, He leads. Day by day, I want to follow. I want my children to know how very real, loving, and faithful our God is! Jesus Christ has shed His blood and paid the penalty for my sins. I want them to know His peace that only He can give! Do you know Him? Does He know you? He is so good!

15 comments:

  1. Your husband had cancer???
    I have been following your blog since you were first pregnant with Samuel,, I had no idea.
    What kind of cancer did he have? And I assume he is doing fine now, haven't read otherwise!

    God bless!
    Jamie

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  2. Jaynee~ What a timely post as I struggle with these things. During the hard times, you are soo right, I see God so clearly. Then life gets back to normal and my old discontentment creeps in. Thank you for sharing.

    Holding you in prayer~ Cinnamon

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  3. Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. Certainly you have given me things to think about.

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  4. Jayne, I'm sorry to here that you're ill. I'm praying for your bladder & kidneys to be healed. Please update us soon on how you're feeling!

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  5. Dear Jaynee, this post was more than needed as I've been forgetting to fully rest in Him. No wonder life has been more stressful here!!! praying for you to feel better soon and for your walk with our Father. Blessings to you all

    Shelley p
    from over the pond

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  6. I will be praying for you. You all have had a tough road, and it has been amazing to see your response when the difficult situations have come your way! May the Lord bless and heal you!

    Anna M. from Kansas

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  7. I will be praying for you. You all have had a tough road, and it has been amazing to see your response when the difficult situations have come your way! May the Lord bless and heal you!

    Anna M. from Kansas

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  8. I will continue to pray for you and your family. What a precious ministry you all have!

    Sarah from R.I.

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  9. So true Jaynee, sometimes the Enemy wants to bombard me with thoughts and wants me to point a finger and say "what about them, why do they not have trials, why is it always smooth for them?" He tells ME to follow him no matter what the other person is doing or is going through.

    May He continue to us all great grace to take up the crosses he gives each of us whether big or small and may we follow....

    Cindy

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  10. This post was so touching and spoke to my heart. I have been feeling the exact way you described and like I fail the Lord daily by doubting and letting my heart grow so weary. It is so good to trust him though, really just surrender all of us huh? I am pregnant with child number 5 and will have 5 in under 6 years( I am sure you know this feeling) and I am so sick this time and just feeling like "God, why me?" I can not do this. I am only one person. How selfish my heart can be. Okay wow I am going on here. But thank you so much for this post. It really encouraged a young moms heart and gave me hope for the days ahead!!!!Bless you and keep trusting the Lord. I know the trials can be so rough but He will do a good work...just believe.

    Jessica

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  11. Oh I wanted to mention to you something req. your bladder/kidney infection. Have you heard of collodial silver? It is amazing and kills bacteria quickly and effectively, it is all natural and you could drink it all the time it is also an immune booster and known to kill cancer. We use it on everything here. Just wanted to share........ also iodine...... if you are deficient you will be prone to infection. It kills bacteria and most of us are deficient in iodine. Just to share. Hope it helps. Bless you and your precious family.
    Jessica

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  12. This was a timely post, for me as well. I think the really hard times are when it is all we can do but lean on the Lord. And then in the sort of bad times, we forget his care and tend to fret and stew more. I need to just trust him all the time, and I would save myself so much heartache. Praying you are feeling better soon. I can't believe Samuel is alrady 7 months old!

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  13. You and your family are such an inspiration.

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  14. Thank you for a wonderful post. What a wonderful reminder that we are to follow Him and not try to do things on our own! You've blessed me today, Jaynee.

    Katie in Maryland

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  15. Every time I check your blog, Jaynee, you give me a wonderful dose of perspective! Thanks for allowing the Lord to use you, even for many of us who only "know" you through the blogosphere!
    Blessings to you,
    Sheila

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