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A glimpse into the life of Daniel and Jaynee Lockwood and their 12 precious blessings. Thank you for visiting; we pray that what we share here may always bring glory to our wonderful God and Saviour. May you praise the Lord with us for the great things He has done and continues to do as we serve Him sharing the gospel here in the little town of Cuidad Insurgentes, BCS Mexico. He alone is good and faithful!

Friday, February 07, 2014

Do you trust your God?

We often, as Christians, sing songs such as “I Surrender All”….. “all to Jesus I surrender…”
But how often are there areas in our lives that we just haven’t surrendered.  We are still holding on to tightly.  We still want our way.  We still want the control. 
The other day, a dear lady and friend of mine wanted to talk to me.  She said there was an area in her life she knew the Lord wanted her to surrender, but she couldn’t.  She went on to explain that the other day, she and our son Timothy and a group of others were visiting after church and somehow the subject came up of having children.  Someone had asked Timothy when he gets married, how many children he’d like to have.   She said he answered, “I’d like to have as many as the Lord wants to give me.”   Then someone asked my friend’s husband if they wanted to have more.  My friend said her husband was quiet and just walked away. 
He does want to have more…many more if the Lord wills.  But my friend was scared.  How will we provide?  What about all the work?  She had been telling her husband no more children.
Here in Mexico, almost every single woman, after they have had 2 or at the most 3 children, have had an operation to prevent them from having any more.  Most of these ladies are still in their twenties.  Mexicans, who use to be known for their large families, have now been indoctrinated that having many children=poverty.  
Many here who receive medical care provided by the government are required to attend monthly meetings.  My friends have told me some of what is taught at these meetings.  A couple months ago, the meeting was on how a woman is not under her husband.  If a husband asks or tells his wife to do or not do something, the wife needs to make her own decision. If a woman wants to work and her husband tells her he wants her to stay at home, that is abuse.  She isn't to listen to that.
They have been taught through meetings, the television, the schools, and the medical community that many children=poverty.  That relationships outside of marriage are fine…just do it “safely”.  The amount of single mothers here is astounding.  The amount of people just living together versus getting married is…well, in our town….it’s like 100:1 now. 
Many Children=Poverty
They do not see children as God sees them.  They do not see them as a blessing from the Lord.  The mothers do not see the high calling of motherhood as a gift.   They have been taught wrongly for so long.
What a joy it is to open God’s Word and teach what HE says!!!  What a joy it is to see hearts and minds open to something they never considered!  And to see the Lord’s blessing!
It doesn’t matter if it’s popular or not.  God’s Word is true, His ways are perfect, and always for our good! 
We teach here in our church what God’s Word says each week.  Last week, I had the privilege of speaking to a group of ladies at a church conference in Los Cabos.  I opened my Bible to Titus 2 and taught them how God wants them to love their husband, to love their children, and what God says about children in His Word.

Christians tell me-
“I don’t want/can’t have any more children because…”

Here are some of the reasons I hear all the time....

*I can barely afford the 1, 2, or 3 I have.  I can’t possibly have another.

How big is your God?  Is He limited in is ability to provide?  Does He stop caring for/providing for your family once you hit a certain number of children?  Are His promises no longer true?

Phil. 4:19-
 But my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Matthew 6:25-33-

Psalms 37:25

When we were newly married, Daniel worked at a grocery store while going to college to finish his degree.  We barely made it.  We worked every week doing yard jobs for our land lord to help pay the rent on our apartment.  We never had extra.  But God took care of us.
When Timothy came along, same thing.  We made it week by week.  Daniel got a raise and we bought diapers. 
Elijah came and another raise.  Daniel was now topped out at what he could make at the store.  He could have taken a management position but it would require he’d work on Sundays, so he didn’t.  God is always first.  Sunday is the Lord’s day.  And the Lord provided.
When I was pregnant with Rebekah, Daniel was offered another job with better pay.  We were able to afford to rent a place more accommodating for our growing family.  It was a commission job and the Lord blessed.
And then we had Benjamin and Abigail and Isaiah, and Josiah, and then we moved to Mexico by faith.  And God has ALWAYS provided!  And He ALWAYS will!  Because He is God and His Word is true!
We’ve had times of leanness.  We’ve had times when the children needed shoes.  But I’d rather have children with no shoes than shoes and no children. 

*I can’t hardly handle the children I have!!!
Love them, train them, discipline them, teach them, enjoy them.  It is a job of sacrifice.  You give your time, your money, your prayers, your tears.  It is a busy, busy job!  The hours are often 24/7.  But the payment is priceless! 
So few children here are disciplined.  They get what they want, when they want.  They throw fits in the stores and are given what they cry for.  They don't want to go to school, they throw a fit and stay home.  They eat what they want when they want.  They go where they want.  Their parents let them run the home.
God's Word tells children to obey their parents.  It tells parents to love, train and discipline their children.  Proverbs 13:24 says that if you don't discipline your child, you hate him.
My neighbor took her 6 year old child to a psychologist because he was "troubled".  He threw fits, didn't want to go to school, and was very demanding.  Her boyfriend told her to stop giving the child his way and he'd learn to be much more content, but she wanted to see what a "professional" had to say.  The psychologist told her she should never discipline her child....only love him.  
Discipline is love!  And the fruit thereof is joy and peace!  
Love your children!

*I don’t want to lose my figure
You will most likely lose it anyways.  Those stretch marks, curves, varicose veins…they are all simply reminders that you’ve been sooooo very blessed!

*But what about my health?
A woman’s body was made to have babies.  God, our Creator, made it that way.  Are there times when a decision needs to be made to not have more children due to health?  Let me share a story-
I have a dear friend who has 10 children.  When she was pregnant with her 9th, something developed during the pregnancy that almost took both her life and that of her child.  It was something that was irreversible and while she and her husband had always welcomed each and every child the Lord gave them with open arms and heart, her husband, through many prayers and tears, decided that this baby would have to be the last my friend would birth. 
While the baby was in the NICU, I called my friend to encourage her, and she said, “Jaynee, I feel so badly.  All these years, we’ve left this in the Lord’s hands and now I’m no longer able to have any babies because of our own choice.” 
I told her, “You have always lived a life of surrender to God’s will.  And you continue to do so.  It’s not about how many children you have.  It’s about yielding your will to the Lord’s.  Your husband, who love the Lord, loves you, and loves children, made a decision because of His desire to protect you and his family.  And while you would have loved to have more, you surrendered your will to the Lord’s.”
Later, the Lord “put a baby in their lap” almost literally!  They adopted a sweet baby that was given to them.  What a testimony!
But most ladies I know have never even considered how many children the Lord wants them to have.  They think of how many they want to have.  They plan their lives.  Their trust is often in their finances or their abilities and not in the Lord.

I think the saddest reason I have heard to not have a child has been given to me by wives of men in the ministry.
*I can serve the Lord better with fewer children than with more
This gets my righteous anger going a bit!!   To think that serving the Lord is only wrapped up in working in the church, teaching a children’s class, teaching a ladies class, going out soul winning, working in a soup kitchen, being the head of a ministry committee, leading a choir, going house to house to visit and disciple or going door to door soul winning….
There is nothing wrong with any of these things….but to think that a woman is not serving the Lord as she rises before dawn to made her husband a hot breakfast and send him off to work with a smile and kiss, when she tucks a love note into his lunch, when she changes those thousands of diapers and wipes hundreds of snotty noses, when she teaches her children God’s Word, cares for her home, trains and disciplines her children in the Lord, loves her husband, loves her children, makes her home a place of love, joy, peace, thankfulness, stability, comfort, and fun! 
She could be bringing up men and woman who will someday be pastors, missionaries, Christian mothers and fathers, men and woman who change the world for Christ.   Men and women who love and serve their Lord because they were brought up to know and love Him.
I have had a lady tell me I am tied down to my home and not able to do what I could for the Lord because I have so many children to tend to.  Oh, sweet sister, I have more opportunities to serve my Lord than I know what to do with!  It is an honor and privilege I don’t deserve but I am so thankful for it!
I am not saying that there are not church ministries where women are needed!  Quite the contrary.  We need women teaching women.  If we want to reach children from broken and unsaved homes, we need someone to teach them.  And the Lord will call ladies to fill these rolls.  But always in His will and in His timing.
I have another dear friend that has been married for many years.  She and her husband wanted to have children.  In fact, she always longed for twins.  Year passed after year.  Finally, they had what the doctors said was truly a miracle baby.  That little girl is 10 years old now and still and only child.  My friend is the principal of her church’s Christian school.  She spends all day with her daughter and 35 other children teaching them, loving them, and serving the Lord in that way.  It is what God had for her.  Her husband is behind her and she told me recently, “Well, the Lord didn’t give me children in the way that I’d hoped, but He certainly gave me children!”
Let the Lord decide!  Let His will be done! 
I once had someone tell me, “I always thought having children was just something left to common sense or your own decision.  Like breakfast, I don’t ask the Lord what to eat in the morning.  I just eat what I want and choose something healthy.”
I asked her, “Do you ever pray and ask the Lord to give you this day your daily bread?  Do you ever pray and ask the Lord to give you children?   Be it little or much, every day, you want to eat.  Your body was made to eat.  But do you want children?  And if not or if you only want a couple, why? Are you surrendered to the Lord’s will?”

My friend’s husband wanted more children and it had become a wall in their marriage.  We opened God’s Word together, read what God had to say, talked about her fears, addressed them with the Word of God, prayed together, and last week, she told me, “Hna. Rebecca (my name here), you know how when a lady in your class is pregnant, you always tease and count that person as 1 ½?  Well, I’m hoping you’ll be counting me as 1 ½ here soon.” 

I asked her how she felt.  Oh, she told me she felt as if a burden she’d been carrying was gone.  Her joy returned.  That’s how it is with surrender!  We hold on to something that we were never made to carry!  When we give it to the Lord, oh the relief and joy!




24 comments:

  1. Great post. Thank you for sharing!

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  2. This has to be one of the best posts you have ever written!!! I would love to share it with every Christian lady I know!!!!
    Keeping writing you are such a blessing :).

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    1. Share it! Some people don't care what God says and some just don't know. You share with ladies where you are and I'll keep sharing with ladies here!
      This post is part of the message I shared with a group of Christian ladies at the church in Los Cabos last week. The Lord so clearly put it on my heart and my husband pushed...I mean...encouraged me to do it :)

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  3. Well said, Jaynee. I can stand by you on this and say that it is all true. God has blessed us and always provided as well.

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    1. He is so faithful and so good!! And I know that you and your family bear testimony to that!! Thank you for your example! God's ways are always the BEST!!!!

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  4. I LOVE how God provides for us. :) I have noticed how even our wants are supplied often times. Do we remember to thank Him? Thank you for pointing out things that we often forget!!! God is SO GOOD to us!!!

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  5. Being Mexican, in a city with so much needs as the one you're living in (I live in the borderline with TX) I've been so grateful for the work you and your family is doing, yet I'm always very cautious when I see people talking about the situation of my country and the way they reflect the issues to others outside the country. Today is the first time I feel that, even when what you wrote IS true and I agree with you, it's not a problem only Mexican women have. I can cut and paste your paragraphs and change some things and they would be also true for American society or European society:

    "....They have been taught through meetings, the television, the schools, and the medical community that many children=poverty. That relationships outside of marriage are fine…just do it “safely”. The amount of single mothers here is astounding. The amount of people just living together versus getting married is…well, in our town….it’s like 100:1 now.
    Many Children=Poverty They do not see children as God sees them. They do not see them as a blessing from the Lord. The mothers do not see the high calling of motherhood as a gift. They have been taught wrongly for so long...."

    This line of thinking is the same most "first world" countries have, where getting access to the pill, plan B, and abortion is as easier as going to buy milk, where religion means nothing and where the secular way is the "open minded and non judgmental" way of life.
    Anna Garcia.

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  6. Anna, I know you are absolutely right. I wasn't trying to say it from a point of Mexico is this way in comparison to any other country. I know American has turned her back on God. But I guess I see American (not sure about other countries as I have no experience anywhere else) as not only being founded on Biblical principles, but having had the gospel, the Word of God, and the Truth for so long. They've just rejected it. And the church as a whole in America knows the truth, but has turned away from it.
    Here, I feel that the truth has hardly been taught. The gospel is new here and the churches have not had the training/teaching and resources that American has. And there are so few here preaching it.
    But, yes, I agree! Thank you for sharing, Anna! Dios te bendiga!

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  7. That was beautiful Jaynee. I can remember being on both sides of this discussion....having one and that being all I wanted to having a "quiverfull" and longing for more :-)

    ~Cinnamon

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  8. Hooray Jaynee! I absolutely agree with everything you wrote in this post. It took us awhile to embrace this teaching but now we are so, so, so grateful we did. We have 5 terrific boys as a result. If the Lord wills it, we would love to have many more! Babies are awesome :o)

    Katie-who-was-in-Maryland-but-is-now-in-New-York

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    1. Hi, Katie! That's so funny...I was just thinking about you last week. Where in NY are you? We go there on furlough. It would be soooo fun to meet up someday! How is your mom doing? Please tell Auntie Alice I said hi and send my love :)

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  9. In my Marriage it is/was the exact opposite, my husband is the one who don't think we can afford many children. But somehow we still ended up with 3 Boys, and he now wants to try for a fourth. I think he finally realized the more we rely on God the more he will bless us.

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  10. I have had most of the negatives happen to me, but we still trust in the Lord. My precious babies 4 and 5 were conjoined and stillborn (surgically) and that was a terrible loss, I wished I had no more but my husband knew best and just a few short months later I was expecting twins again. What a blessing! After 8 I had a prolapse problem but my doctor gave me a pessary to wear and it really wasn't an issue. We prayed for years for another before my husband discerned that a hysterectomy was appropriate. We would gladly accept a baby in our laps since our oldest is now 25 and youngest is 13. We have dealt with behavior and health problems but oh the blessings on the other side are worth it. We now have five grandbabies and those are so precious as well so you can really see the blessings on generations.

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  11. WONDERFUL post Jaynee. I agree with the above comment. One of your best. You are an encouragement. Children are SUCH an heritage. The only tangible gift God gives us on the earth, and we get to take them to heaven after we teach them to get saved. What else can we take to heaven that matters? WOW!!!!

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  12. Thinking of you and finally decided to search for you again. :)

    Due with our next blessing March 5th... :)

    Praying you're doing well sweet lady!
    Amy (aka Dandelion Seeds)

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    1. Amy :) I'm soooo glad you found me :) Congratulations! I miss you!!!! And think of you too!

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  13. From the other side, as a woman with no children, but who would loved to be blessed with many. It takes much faith to trust God with the desire to have children when it seems like your arms will always remain empty!

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    1. Bless your heart, Becky. Praying that your arms will soon be full and while you wait, that the Lord will fill your heart with His love and care.

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  14. Hi my name is Ericka :-) I love read all your blogs! Special this one touch my heart mine and my husband! Thank you for you! God really use you for some reason. I am mother too, we just have one child who is 8 months. We are so crazy for him and so thankful. My point is my husband and I we are Christians and believers as you, but we are living depend to Eric grandma. ( Eric is my husband! And his name :)) and I have been so stressful for no have home or own place for live and have more child's. But if we stay here I feeling like I cannot have more child's because that's not my house. Eric no have job yet such is hard for us. He receive SSI some pension that we receive here. We both are deaf but also we can speak thank God for that but yes my point we have hard times now that's wrong of us stopped have children because we are living Eric grandma?! And no space? That's no faith? And about clothes why you decided use only skirts? I am conservative woman but I use pants so that's working? I only want be okay with The Lord and pleasent him what I do. I wil appreciate hear some your advices to me. Thank you. God bless you. :)

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  15. I disagree with what you have to say and continuing to have baby after baby because God said so or you can't deny a blessing. Truth be told, having babies tore my body up. We stopped at three and I do not feel badly about it. You will not take your stance and shove it down my throat and make me feel bad. It turns out that our third child is very, very sick and requires much of our time. Having any more after him would have been selfish. I can't have anymore anyway because I had a hysterectomy. And on another note--I don't look like an old hag like some of these quiverfull moms. I don't have dark circles, my hair is healthy, my skin glows and is firm--I am saved by the blood of Jesus just like you. But we certainly differ in what we think is right either for you or for me.

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    1. I do not think women should just have baby after baby just for the sake of blessing. I do not think that there is no reason whatsoever that a women should stop having baby. I am very grateful for God giving men the wisdom to learn and discover what He has made through medical science.
      I am sorry your child is so sick and can only imagine the great love and dedication you have in caring for him each day. I know you must often be tired and just seeing someone you love so much suffer must be so very hard. I’m sorry chidbirth was so hard on your body, and I’m glad you have such healthy skin and hair. And I’m very thankful that you’ve been saved by the precious blood of Jesus. You are my sister in Christ.
      I do believe that having children is a blessing. I’m sure that even though childbirth or possibly your pregnancies were difficult, you consider each of your children a blessing. I do believe that any decision we make should be made through prayer seeking the Lord’s will. If you and your husband felt the Lord wanted you to just have 3 children, then you have just what God wanted you to have. There are many people who simply don’t seek the Lord’s will. They already have their mind made up as to what they want.
      I’m 40, have some wrinkles, a few grey hairs, varicose veins, some stretch marks, a scar from my c-sections/hysterectomy, and my body’s not the same shape it was when I was 20. But to my husband and my children, I am beautiful.

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  16. On another note related to my last comment. God gave us brains that work. We need to use that brain to make appropriate decisions regarding our bodies and their functions. Having a baby every single year like you did is very taxing on the body and if you believe in medical science (which it sounds like you don't) then you would have stopped long ago.

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  17. Finally catching up on your blog -again-(I seem to always get behind and miss posts!) Seems like now would be a good time to tell you ...we are expecting number 6 in September! I am sad to admit we wrestled for a little while with surrender this time, but joyful that there is such peace in surrender and that God has blessed us again. We are truly excited about this new little life. :) Thank you for your encouraging email when I had questions a few months ago, and thanks for this post. Our family lifts you all up in prayer regularly!

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  18. I think there is a misconception from families with lots of children. If others aren't having as many children as they possibly can, or are using some form of birth control, then they are not doing the Lord's will. There are many cases where although medically they could have more children, the amount of damage if did to their bodies (I'm not talking about stretch marks) was life threatening. There are times when one firmly hears the Lord telling them no more. I believe He gives the desire to have more children, and He also says no more. There shouldn't be judgement in that.

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