14 years

About 27 years ago, I met the boy who would someday be the man I would call my husband. And 14 years ago today I became Mrs. Daniel Lockwood. I still remember the excitement I had the first time I went to the grocery store and wrote a check where I now bore my husband's name. I just stared at it smiling; I'm not sure what the clerk thought :). Those were the days where our grocery bill was $25-$30 a week. So much has changed since then; not just the amount of food I cook or clothes I wash, or the fact that our home has grown by "24 feet" :), but the amount of love and respect I have for my man has multiplied more than anything else.

I want to share a bit about how Daniel and I met, got married, and how the Lord worked in my heart these past years in regard to my relationship with my husband. When I think about how patient yet lovingly firm Daniel (and the Lord) has been with me, I usually get teary eyed and my heart swells with gratitude and joy.

I met Daniel when we were both 9 years old. His family had moved to our town (Redding, CA) and began attending our church. I remember the "buzz" around church was there was a new family who had more children than the Smiths did (we were the Smiths and there were 5 of us).
The following year, the Lockwood family began attending the Christian school where we attended as well. Daniel and I were in the same class...there was a Lockwood in every one of my brother's/sisters' classes as well.
Our families were involved in many of the same activities throughout the years. Daniel and I became friends in high school. Like all girls that age, I would sometimes wonder about marriage...if, when, who ect... I never imagined I would marry Daniel. Of course, he was a head shorter than me until he turned 17 :)
The years after highschool, our relationship grew. And on July 22, 1995 at the age of 22, I married my best friend.

We had a rough first couple of years but an even harder time once we got to the mission field (surprised?...How Satan loves to attack the family). We had vowed "to death do us part" and meant it; but how many blessings and simple joy is lost each day through conflict in the home. We both had many areas in which the Lord really had to work. Most people probably thought Daniel had more "rough spots" than I did, but while my rough spots...sins...may not have been as obvious, they were so much worse.
Pride, selfishness, anger, unkind words, cold or indifferent spirit, complaining...these were all, sadly, attitudes of my heart...the true me...that I could so easily overlook or "justify" in the light that I was "doing" everything right.
How miserable I was! And all I could do was see how many problems my husband had. How true is the verse in Matthew 7:3 "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"
Sadly, many people were "worried" about me too for all the "rough spots" that they thought Daniel had. I began to doubt more and more the wonderful man God had placed over me. Their words only fed my miserable condition as I sought to "stand up for what was right" in our marriage. It saddens me so much to think of how wrong I have been at times and how many days, weeks, months were wasted on thinking about myself rather than being filled with the joy and blessings of following God and my husband.

But admist all the times I have wallowed in the mire and muck of sin, I have truly hated it and cried to the Lord to help. I did not always cry with a cry of wanting Him to change/work in me...but how grateful I am for the God of mercy who by His abundant grace continues to work in my heart, bring conviction of those sins, and so readily forgive and set my feet back on sure ground!

You know, many people who really know Daniel and I would even be surprised to hear this. Satan is the master deciever and as I was simply doing his bidding I was able to make everything look fine and dandy.

How the Lord has patiently worked in our lives. Sometimes I feel so badly as we get the comments we do here as really, there is nothing good in us...it is all Jesus Christ. We appreciate the encouragement, but don't want anyone to think anything about us. We are just so blessed so underservedly as we desire to serve the Lord. Like the Apostle Paul, I often feel like I am the chief of sinners or close to it. And it is for that reason that I love sharing the forgiveness, love and mercy of God so freely given through Jesus Christ. There is nothing greater than seeing a once hurting, broken, sinful heart full of peace, joy, and love. And then to see that one so excited for what they have recieved that they want to share it with others as well.

Well, if you are still with me, I want to end by telling you a few reasons I love my husband so much. A few times, I have shared some of these things with others and they have said things such as, "Oh, I wish my husband would be or do such and such...". What a dangerous place to be! But I understand...I have been there.
Daniel is not perfect (although I find he is right like 99.9% of the time :) ), but some of the reasons I love him the most are some of the very reasons that I used to complain and get angry about. How amazing the grace of the Lord is as it changes the hardest of hearts!

I love Daniel because:

*He is quick to tell me when I am wrong and call me to repentence.
*He loves God and His Word more than anything.
*I know that when I go to him with any problem, he won't tell me what will make me feel better but what is right. He takes me straight to God's Word.
*He prays for me (probably a lot...I need it! :) )
*He tells me everyday that he loves me.
*He is so honest (something I was never very good at...am getting better :) ); he is quick to ask for forgiveness and doesn't hide his sins.
*He has continually washed me with the Word and how much more I know and love the Lord than I ever have as Daniel has taught me by word and deed
*He is so couragous (as the Lord has given him a true spirit of courage) as he preaches taking no thought to what others may think of or do to him on account of the message.
*He is faithful in all things little or big
*He loves to talk...and I love to listen to him. :) The sweetest lost sleep I have ever had in my life is due to either talking to my hubby or holding/feeding my children.
*He is a hard worker...sleeps little and works much.
*He loves to spend time with the children and I...he has never had outside hobbies...his free time is being with us.
*He loves children. When Daddy gets home, oh the joy! Yesterday he was out preaching in the middle of the hot desert for 5 hours. I know he was tired, hot, dirty and sweaty...and about 11 little ones were all over him. He hugs and smiles and plays and they know how important they are to Daddy.
*He is so strong and I love the way the Lord made a man to protect, provide and care for his family
*He is so patient, quick to forgive, and doesn't hold grudges (truly forgives)
*He has been an example of Christ to me; I look up to and admire him so much yet I know he would tell you in a second that it is not him but the Lord.
*He is my favorite preacher; I have learned so much from him; And I get to see some of what nobody else does...the hours he spends praying and studying so he can be used to meet the spiritual needs of each person who hears the message
*And oh he's so handsome ;)

Happy Anniversary Daniel...I love you so much!