Isaiah 43:7
I have created him for my glory.
From the moment we knew you were there,
Our little girl or boy,
Our hearts did swell with so much love,
Our days were filled with joy.
Each day we prayed for you our child,
How we wanted you to stay!
Resting in our in loving Father's will,
Content to follow His way.
Many weeks I carried you
Safely beneath my heart.
And now our Father has carried you
To His home where you'll never depart.
From the moment we knew you were there,
Our world was filled with joy.
And now heaven's that much sweeter too,
With our little girl or boy.
Wednesday afternoon, I went to the doctor. Our sweet little baby's heart was no longer beating.
Yesterday, we went to our doctor in La Paz to check again.
He was so kind and caring and as he was doing the ultrasound, he found 2 little babies, both of whom are now in heaven.
I was almost 11 weeks along.
Not knowing I was carrying twins, I wrote the above poem in my journal Wendesday night.
Our hearts hurt and the tears have fallen, but we have often held each other close and the Lord always holds us closer...He is so loving, so good, and so gentle.
Having had a miscarriage between my oldest two children and now having had two after having our little Samuel, it doesn't get any easier. It always amazes me the love the Lord gives a mommy for her child from the first moment she knows he/she is within her.
Through the pain, this one thing I know...That all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Why did God allow this to happen? Because He is so loving, and so good, and only does what is best for us.
The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21
When my heart hurts and the tempter brings doubts and fears, I just want to bless our Lord. Always trusting, always clinging to Him, always renewing my mind with His Word.
Thank you so much for your prayers for me and our babies these past weeks. I'm so thankful the Lord has given us a sweet family in Christ who pray, love and encourage us so much.
I am so thankful I have 12 precious children here on earth, and 4 sweet little ones in heaven.
And I'm most thankful for the blessed Hope we have through Jesus Christ our Savior where one glorious day, there will be no more tears, no more dying, no more pain.
He is so faithful and so good.
I'm so sorry, sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteYou have such a sweet attitude and outlook.VERY enocouraging. Praying for you all!!
ReplyDeleteLove In CHRIST, Hna. Sandra En Tijuana, Mx
Jaynee~ Oh, how my heart is hurting for you. Heaven is sweeter now. I can't imagine how your hearts are hurting and wondering and doubting at times but stay clinging to the Lord. He is faithful. I am very very sorry for this loss and may HE be your strength in sorrow. Stay upon Jehova. Love you sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteJessica
I have been thinking of you so often lately and praying for you. My heart hurts with you in the loss of your twins, but I am so thankful that you know the hope that lies in Jesus. Take care of yourself, my friend.
ReplyDeletevery sweet poem... very sad news!
ReplyDeleteCourage!
I am so SOOOOOOOOOO sorry to hear this.
ReplyDeleteOh Jaynee......I am sad with you! Of course you did not know it was twins when I e-mailed you last week but for some reason, I was thinking it was and it was!!! I am so thankful for your heart towards our Great God who with all wisdom fashions and weaves our babies and has plans that will bring Him ALL the glory! Whether we have the opportunity to hold them for 3 years, 4 months and 10 days or weeks in the womb, our Jesus is the wonderful Savior of these precious gifts He gives!!! I know He will carry yu through! I read a saying the other day and it went something like this, "I used to think it took a strong heart to do difficult things.
ReplyDeleteNow I know that doing difficult things is how you get one. " As your and our families, both know, trials are given to us for His glory, our good! MAy you meditate upon Him and find sweet peace because His very name is Peace!! We luv you!!!
Maybe Joel can show the twins a few things!!!!
So sorry, but praying for your heart and body as they heal.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteJaynee, I'm so very sorry! My prayers continue on many levels
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you and the family as you grieve these babies. I know the whole family will enjoy meeting them in heaven someday. You are an encouragement to many as you show how your faith in God upholds you in trying times. God bless you all.
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry to hear the news. What a beautiful poem - we are so encouraged by how your family is so strong in your faith during trying times. - The Wilson family
ReplyDeletepraying for you and your family my sweet friend :) ((((HUGS)))) and thankful for your continued testimony of GOD'S goodness and grace. MUCH love and prayers,
ReplyDeletemisty in NC
I am so sorry to hear of you loss, praying for you.
ReplyDeleteDear Jaynee... My heart is so sad for you today. I understand the sorrow you are feeling and am praying for you. What a day it will be when you and these little ones are reunited. Asking our Father to send His sweet Holy Spirit to comfort you in the hours and days to come!
ReplyDeleteJaynee & Daniel, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family. Please keep us updated on how you're doing.
ReplyDeleteJaynee,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear of this. We lost a baby boy (15 weeks) almost 3 years ago. God gave us a new baby girl born in April. She has healed me heart! The loss was so great for us. I had never had a miscarriage after 8 children. I am so thankful for heaven and for Christ's sacrifice for us. My mom passed away in June and now all of our parents are in heaven. I am sure they are enjoying our little boy! What a day of rejoicing it will be when we all get to heaven!
Blessings,
Cindy
Our *hugs* and prayers are with you and yours with this sad news. I know this is very hard, especially for a mommy's heart. May our Lord's strong arms encompass and lift you up. And that day in heaven will be even sweeter, when you get to meet your other children.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. Your outlook is beautiful and full of inspiration. May you find extra comfort knowing that He is holding your heart in the palm of His hand.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! My heart aches for you. Praising God that those dear little babies are safe with Jesus, and praying for your comfort and healing!
ReplyDelete((Hugs)) and prayers, Janie.
ReplyDeleteI know there are no words to comfort you.But just a thought...4 little ones will run to meet you one day
ReplyDeleteI'd just finished telling my husband about you, we were due around the same time, I'm so sorry to hear your news.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry in your loss. Hugs and prayers to you and the entire family.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless~
Debbie Jean
Oh Jaynee and Daniel, I'm so sorry. I hope that you are comforted by the knowledge that two new little souls will exist for eternity. You're in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteIn Him,
Katie in Maryland
sorry for your loss
ReplyDeleteS:o sorry for your loss Jaynee. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry of the loss of your twins ((HUGS)). Your poem was beautiful. May Jesus give you all grace and strength as you journey through this difficult time.
ReplyDeletePraying for you. Your poem brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteJaynee - May the Lord give you great strength and an overwhelming peace. Praying for you...
ReplyDeleteI am so sad for you and your family, Jaynee. Your faith is precious.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to get as much rest as you can, dear one.
Jenny
Jaynee,
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about you all day and praying for you. {{{hugs}}} dear friend.
I pray you can rest and recover and like you said, "bless the Lord" through this all.
May the Lord turn your sorrow into joy and wrap you in His loving arms.
Praying for you~ Cinnamon
Dear Jaynee,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss!!! I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Love ya,
Kim in NC
Dear Lockwood Family,
ReplyDeleteWe are sooo very sorry for the loss of your twins. I can't even imagine the pain of losing twins. Your children must be hurting. Your faith is so encouraging-The Lord is soo good and faithful. I will come back and share a promise with you later-my notebook is in my bedroom where my husband is sleeping. We will continue to pray for you.
Love,
Erin
The first face they ever saw was the face of Jesus, which is no small thing. Lifting you up to the God of all comfort, praying that He would allow you to feel His peace and even His joy. Praying that He will bring sweet people across your path in many different ways, as evidence of His watch-care over you.
ReplyDeleteGrace,
The Wilsons in VA
Oh, I am sooo sorry to hear about the loss of your two precious little ones. I cannot imagine your pain and heartache. I will pray that the Lord will comfort your broken heart in only the way He can!
ReplyDelete((((((Hugs))))))))
Love,
Anna M.
I've been reading your blog for a long time. Please know I am praying for you, much! I wanted to let you know your post has blessed me, and of course the scripture, but also the words... "Why did God allow this to happen? Because He is so loving, and so good, and only does what is best for us."
ReplyDeleteI buried an almost three year old in 2006. God is faithful and healing.
I've had 6 babies, and I am so thankful for them.
We've surrendered our womb, had 7 miscaraiges, but recently 2 this year... the last at 17 weeks.
I'm 10+ weeks now, again, and finding it difficult to walk in faith and not fear... and many other things...
I'm praying for you, and encouraged by your post... and wanted to let you know that I need sisters continuing to walk in faith with their womb, when it is hard painful and not working as we hope.
thanks and to God be the Glory... my encouragement is fruit and the blessing of your babies lives...
your friend in grief,
darci
I'm so sorry for your loss....I just had a feeling it was twins. May you find comfort in the coming days just knowing our God doesn't make mistakes. His plan is a perfect one. Take care and God bless you and your family.
ReplyDeletePraying for you,
Marie
So sorry for your loss.Some things are hard to understand.We were given four babies in eight years,shortly after birth,by parents who did not want them.We had them a total of 13yrs,4mo.,then the non-existant parents came and took them.We saw an expensive lawyer,to no avail as we did not get custody.It has been 3yrs.4mo. since.We cannot see the children,who now have serious emotional problems.We,and several others,are praying for a miracle.I believe God is going to return them.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteLockwood Family~
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry for your loss. I too have experienced several miscarriages, one of which was an eptopic. That was the first pregnancy after our tubal reversal. I ended up having 2 more that year. Praise the Lord though, because I am now looking at my 8 week old daughter, who makes #5 for us. I was so sad and discouraged. I applaude you for your courage and faith. You are an inspiration. I pray that the Lord holds you and comforts you. and I pray for a speedy recovery for you. Rest up. {{{HUGS}}}
In Christ,
Maudie
So sorry to hear this news. I have 'only' had one miscarriage - that was hard enough and I cannot imagine what it must have been like to find you had had another miscarriage, and lost two precious little ones. Big hugs to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteMerran in Oz.
Dear Jaynee,
ReplyDeletehere is a promise I wanted to share with you, I pray that it is a help to you. I am praying for you!
Isaiah 41:10
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Love, Erin
Love & prayers for you & your family, Jaynee. I have been stopping by & praying for you each day since you posted that you were expecting. So sorry you have this hurt, but thankful you have the God who helps this kind of hurt.
ReplyDeleteMay the Lords peace be with you and your sweet family. You all will remain in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteThe Muncks
I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
Praying for you Sister.The Stephensons in New Mexico.
ReplyDeleteMuffy Stephenson
Oh I'm so sorry. I should have checked the whole blog before commenting instead of just the announcement post I jumped in on.
ReplyDeleteMany hugs and prayers for you with the loss of your little one.
I'm praying for you! This is NOT an easy time, I know! ~T~
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss. It is so neat that the moment we know we are having a child we istantly love them. I too have children here on earth (5) and in heaven (2)
ReplyDeleteMay God hold your heart and kiss it for your babies.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but your sweet spirit and beautiful outlook are so encouraging.
ReplyDeleteLove & Hugs,
Jenny
So sorry for your loss. May God continue to bless your beautiful family and comfort you all in this sad time.
ReplyDeleteJust sending some love & prayers your way tonight...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are suffering this loss. Even fully trusting God,this is difficult to understand and bear. I will pray for all of you. Take care of yourselves.
ReplyDeleteI am so sad for you. I am praying.
ReplyDelete- Mary Beth
I am so sorry for your loss. Heaven is sounding sweeter ALL the time. Love and prayers.....
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you Jaynee
ReplyDeleteJaynee, I'm so sorry to hear about this. Praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. May the Lord give renewed strength and energy to you. I have never experienced a miscarriage, (I, praise the Lord, have 6 healthy children) but my sister has 5 children and has had 4 miscarriages. She is now expecting again. How sad, but what a comfort for those who know the Lord.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are going through this. Having been through 4 miscarriages myself, I know how it feels. I love your poem too!
ReplyDeleteso sorry
ReplyDeleteHi dear Lockwoods,
ReplyDeleteWe recently had an early goodbye to our little one at the same time as you all, and your poem was very sweet and timely for us. Thanks for sharing. God bless you all!
In Christ, the Kleins
I was so sad to read this last night and wanted to come back and comment! Hope you recover fast both physically and emotionally from your loss.
ReplyDeletenathan and i hurt with you! we're very very sorry but what a great hope we have in Jesus. our first and only two babies are in our Lord's presence (sept '08 & March '10). keep trusting in Him. and yes, your poem is very touching to me... thank you for writing it :)
ReplyDeletelove, rosa
I am so very sorry for the loss of your children. I know how hard it is to lose a child, and so much harder to lose twins. My first three babies were born too premature to live. Two of the babies were twin boys, and I did not know I was having twins until the first was born. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI hope you might find this blog entry I wrote to be helpful. It is about the loss of my children:
http://1justpassingthroughthislife.blogspot.com/2010/02/wrestling-with-angels.html
May God hold you safely in His hands.
Ellen G
I hadn't had a chance to stop by your blog for a while since I started school, so I just saw this. I am so sorry! Praying for your whole family during this time.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't had a chance to stop by your blog for a while since I started school, so I just saw this. I am so sorry! Praying for your whole family during this time.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeletePraying for you all.
Hello Jaynee and Daniel, so sorry to hear your sad news. You are so right it does not get any easier. Our family has said goodby to 3 precious gifts befor knowing them and then in December we said goodbye to our sweet little girl at 61/2 months. Yesterday I was listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's cd(a gift from some friends) "beauty will rise" I was blessed so much by most of the songs and the reminder they are of God's love and truth. I think my favorite so far is Beauty will rise and Fegruary 20th.The whole cd was written after the death of their own daughter. Praying for you and your family.
ReplyDelete