Welcome! Nuestra Casa Es Su Casa ...Our house is your house

A glimpse into the life of Daniel and Jaynee Lockwood and their 12 precious blessings. Thank you for visiting; we pray that what we share here may always bring glory to our wonderful God and Saviour. May you praise the Lord with us for the great things He has done and continues to do as we serve Him sharing the gospel here in the little town of Cuidad Insurgentes, BCS Mexico. He alone is good and faithful!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Sharing my Heart Tonight About it All

While at the hospital yesterday, Daniel talked with two of my doctors about my "plumbing" issues :). They were concerned and sent Daniel home with a diuretic for me to take with the instructions to bring me straight back to the hospital if I got any worse or didn't improve by morning. The doctor called yesterday evening to see how things were "going" :).

Several trips and 5 liters later, I felt like a new person! :) And we learned that a liter of water weighs exactly 1 kilogram or 2.252 lbs. We just got off the phone again with the doctor tonight, and he was happy. He encouraged me to eat and drink well...a banana a day to keep up my potassium; fresh fruits and veggies; protein; and to stay well hydrated. If I continue to feel better, then I will go back down on Thursday to get my stitches out and to get checked.

I'm up walking and Hna. Tola made the most delicious chicken-vegetable and rice soup which was the perfect thing to finally perk my appetite! For a sweet tooth like me, it's been so weird not wanting to eat candy. (Don't worry, Joel...I'm sure it won't last long :). )

Whatever they did inside me sure hurts a lot more than my c-sections ever did! But it is amazing how I feel today versus how I felt last week. The Lord is SO good and how wonderfully our Creator made our bodies! Someday we will have new bodies too...glorious bodies like our Lord! Isn't He just wonderful!!

To answer a couple of questions that we've been asked...
The hospital (Central de Especialidades Medicas, La Paz), doctors, and nurses who attended me were wonderful! I was at the best hospital in our entire state; it is the same hospital where Daniel went to in May 2008 when he had been told he had gallbladder cancer (which he didn't!!).
The hospital is clean and has updated equipment. The doctors are all specialists in their fields and the level of care they gave me was so caring, professional, and I felt so safe. They took so much time with me, explained everything so well, and were there to answer any questions I had. Before we left, my main doctor gave us his cell phone and encouraged us to call if we had any questions or concerns at anytime...day or night. And he's called our house the past two nights just to check on me.
The nurses were so helpful and sweet. When I first got up to walk, I just had on my socks and the nurse ran to get me a comfy pair of new slippers. They were bright white...for the first hour I had them at least :). Daniel and I always step on eachother's feet.
The night I was so grave they were so very concerned. They stood around my bed watching me and caring for me for hours. They had one nurse sitting there the entire night long just to watch me and my vitals.
The accommodations were so nice too! Daniel was able to be with me the entire time. We had a private room, I had a very comfortable adjustable bed and Daniel had a nice comfortable couch right next to me. There was a large bathroom with shower in the room and we had phone and Internet.

I know many were concerned that first night I was hurting so badly and they had not given me any pain medication. I was concerned too :) Ha! It was by far the worst thing I have ever felt in my life. A day or so after I had stabilized, the doctors came in to explain things and we finally understood why the first night was so hard. They really were not sure if I was going to make it. I had lost so much blood and my blood pressure was so low and so many other things they were concentrating fully on keeping me alive. They were concerned that another drug in my system just might push an extremely delicate situation over the edge.
But the best part is that night, Daniel asked you all to pray for me. I didn't even know it, but I do remember at one point feeling like I just could not take it anymore (not sure what I would have done about it...I don't think I could have really gone anywhere :) ) and I was trying to pray and it just hurt too much to pray and I called Daniel over and asked him to please pray for the pain. I remember him holding my hand and I remember him starting to pray. I don't remember the prayer...Daniel said as soon as he finished, I fell asleep for about a half an hour. Isn't the Lord so good? And when I think of how I felt that night and then imagine all Jesus suffered for me...not for anything He had done, but for all that I have done...and HE suffered so He could give me all that He deserved and as He took all that I deserved...Oh, what a loving, amazing Friend! So my pain is a reminder to me of His pain; I just want to be counted worthy to suffer for Him too.

You know, the Lord's hand was so clearly seen through each step we took. Since it was going to be a simple d and c, I just wanted to go to the small hospital in the next town over from us with my local doctor. It was so much closer, less expensive, and I didn't see the need to go to the better hospital for something so routine. But God knew. And Daniel didn't want me to go to the hospital here in town. He insisted we go to La Paz and I'm so glad I wasn't stubborn enough to change his mind (he says there wasn't a chance I could have anyways :) ), for I don't think I would be here typing this right now if I had.

I appreciate so much the love, concern and prayers for my heart (emotionally) knowing that yes, our little Samuel will always be our baby...our last child. You are all so thoughtful and caring to think of me and pray for not only physical healing but for my heart as well and I thank you so much.
But I want to give testimony to one of the first things I shared with Daniel once I was coherent enough to have a conversation. For the last couple of years, as I have gotten older, I knew that one day, we would have our last. And when I would think of it, it would always give a twinge of pain to my heart. After we lost this last pregnancy, I felt the Lord's closeness like never before as I grieved. And then, the past month, every time I looked at Samuel, I felt the Lord telling me that he was going to be my last. And surprisingly to me, rather than that twinge of sadness, I felt complete peace. It was as if the Lord specially prepared my heart ahead of time.
I have always loved having babies. From our first night of marriage until now, we have always wanted to let the Lord give us however many children He wanted us to have. And we prayed many, many times as to that decision and just wanted to follow Him as He led us. And we have just the children He gave to us.
I always wanted to have many, many children...it wasn't having a bunch of children that worried me when I was young; I always had to ask Him to help me be content if wanted me to only have 1 or 2 or none :). As years went on, that worry soon was a distant memory as our children came so close together. And now, at 37, we have finished that blessed stage of life. And we have 12...and I love them all so much and thank the Lord each day for giving me Timothy, Elijah, Rebekah, Benjamin, Abigail, Isaiah, Josiah, Noah, Susannah, Nehemiah, Eliseo, and Samuel...and for their most handsome, wonderful daddy too! I am sooo very blessed. And I couldn't be happier! Well, maybe I will be tomorrow...because every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.
Do you know Him? Is He your Jesus? He wants to be so badly! If you don't know Him and you want to, we'd love to tell you how He can be yours and you can be His very own. Are you lonely, hurting, lost, unloved? He understands for He suffered all those things too.

Maybe you don't have a family who loves you or one to love...He wants to make you part of HIS family! And just to be His own child! And to have brothers and sisters in Christ who become so dear to you.
One of the sweetest parts of this trial has been feeling so loved by my Lord and so loved by my brothers and sisters in Christ.
For years and countless times, we've been asked, "How many children are you going to have?" I've never had a "number". But you can ask me now...the Lord gave us 12! We've got the 3 big boys, the 3 middle boys, the 3 little boys, and the 3 girls. Just perfect! And there is nothing better than a family...loving, playing, working, sharing, caring. God is SO faithful and SO good!


PS- Daniel just read my post and said, "Jaynee, you have a lot of "so's" in there." :) Ha! SO I do :)

40 comments:

  1. What a precious testimony and outlook you have! Praying for continued healing and grace for you, Jaynee.

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  2. I am so pleased to hear that you are at peace with the plan God has for your life - I was praying as well for you.
    When you were gravely ill - we prayed for you in our family devotions - since the children have been wondering how you are going - we are so pleased to hear of your recovery.
    Thanks for your amazing witness
    May God bless you
    Renata:)

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  3. I'm so thrilled to read your update, and to see the joy you are experiencing! I've been praying for you so much, and checking your blog all the time for updates. God is so AWESOME! To care for every detail and to see to your every need. Thank you for sharing your story with us, your faith is an encouragement! :)

    Your sister in Christ,
    ~Leah in Alaska

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  4. good to hear that you are doing better...

    for your plumbing issue ;-) you could try stinging nettle tea also, that helps too.

    Somehow I stepped over your blog and was praying for you, that everything is going to be allright...

    Praise the Lord

    Andrea from Germany

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  5. I'm so glad to read that you are feeling better! Remember to keep getting lots of rest so you can fully heal! :) Thanks for the sweet e-mail today...I'll write back soon.

    Love,

    Shelly T.

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  6. Dear Jaynee,
    I was introduced to your blog by your friend Rachel who is here in Singapore for her son's cancer treatment. And what a time to "jump in" on someone's life!!! Phew. It was a rollercoaster ride just reading the latest posts!!! I was on the edge of my (computer) seat!

    I too blog and hate it when I "share my heart" and people are silent. :) So, I reciprocate with this: thanks so much for sharing your heart with words so full and overflowing with the Lord's wisdom and grace.

    Peace, not as the world gives, gives He unto you. Indeed, it is very evident. How else could be explained?

    I was sharing with my children (I homeschool) about what you went through. (Now we're praying for you and your family too!)
    Somewhere in there, I added to them that God is above time and He knows the end from the beginning. He knows at which point of our lives there will come times of great trial and difficulties. And He is right there and He is concerned! Thank God for that little yellow bird! Must be sent from God.

    He saw it fit for 12. It is a good number isn't it? 12 tribes. (but Jacob achieved it by FOUR women, mind you. haha. You're super!!!) 12 precious stones, 3 at each side of the Celestial City....
    Just a thought. ;)

    will be praying.
    blessings in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,
    Suwei

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  7. Rebecca in TasmaniaSep 22, 2010, 3:03:00 AM

    Amen, amen, amen!!
    And to Him be the glory!!
    We live in Tasmania, Australia and we have been praying and following the updates during recent days. I want to thank you so much for encouraging me to always look towards my precious Lord Jesus - yes, He is so very faithful, so very good. He will never leave us, He will never forsake us. To know Him is just THE most wonderful thing of all!
    May He bless you, and hold you all so very close ...
    Rebecca

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  8. I am SO thankful that you are doing better. You have been on my heart.
    What a wonderful post!

    Love ya,
    Kim in NC

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  9. This post literally brought tears to my eyes, Jaynee! So thankful that you are gradually regaining your strength and will keep praying for the pain to subside more and more each day! Indeed, your "twelve little missionaries" are the wonderfully complete and perfect family for you! Continue to love, nuture and enjoy them as the amazing gifts from a Loving God that they are! And, please, allow people to continue to minister to you and your family in the days ahead while you REST and recuperate :)

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  10. I was sooooo looking forward to this post. Glory to God for what He's done and is yet to do! It is wonderful to be loved by such a great God. Thanks for keeping us posted. Evah Odoi (TN).

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  11. What a beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing. I am so glad you were taken such good care of during this time.

    Blessings and hugs,
    Christi

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  12. Jaynee,
    What precious words and what a beautiful testimony. Somehow I knew that God would fill your heart with contentment having Samuel be your last. He has prepared my heart for each one of ours (and even the space in between my last two) and I knew He would do the same for you. He is so good. And I love your sweet heart. Your love and submission to Him shines through in each and every word - especially the "so's!" They just show that you really, really mean what you're saying.
    You are an inspiration and a dear friend. Funny how Chris has even checked with me on your progress throughout this week. Normally, he seems to consider my internet friends to be something other than real people, if that makes sense. But you have been very real to us this week as we have prayed for you.
    I went to bed with you heavy on my heart once again and prayed each time I woke in the night (which was far too many times ;), and my first thought this morning was, "Oh, I hope Jaynee posted!" And then such wonderful news!!!
    I love you, my friend. Keep trusting and keep resting.
    Love, Amy

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  13. I came here first before I read my comments and I just had to say that it was a delight to read your comment. Thank you! I've missed you. And I hope you got some sleep. :)

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  14. What a precious testimony, Jaynee. Our families are all about bringing honour to our Lord and not to ourselves...and you clearly have that perspective. :)
    I am so, SO glad that you are feeling stronger. (I didn't think you had too many "so's"). ;)
    Jenny

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  15. Soooooooooooooo thankful for your healing, your home, your husband, your "Helper" in time of trouble and your happy heart!!!!!!

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  16. I am blessed by your sweet spirit and attitude, thanks so much for sharing - you continue to be in my prayers.

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  17. You truly are blessed! Im so glad you are feeling better.

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  18. Though we do not know each other personally I have so enjoyed getting to know you through your blog. I've been praying for you through this recent trial, and have asked many friends, blog friends, facebook friends and church family to pray for you as well. What a priviledge to pray for others, and what a blessing to see the sweet answers to our prayers. May the Lord continue to bless dear sister.
    In Christ's love,
    Pam

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  19. Our prayers continue to be with you. What a wonderful testimony. Your blog is such a blessing. Thank you.
    Blessings,
    Dawn

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  20. Jaynee, thank you for updating us on how you are doing. Not just physically, but emotionally too. For I really have been praying for you in that area. What a shock it must have been! But it is so very good to hear that the Lord was conditioning your heart before hand, so when this did come about, you were able to stay in "the peace that passes all understanding".

    We certainly do serve a wonderful and loving Lord!

    Jennifer

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  21. What a beautiful testimony! Praise God for your healing and for His wisdom in our lives. He truly is an awesome God!!

    Love, Darla

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  22. May God use your beautiful family in ways you could never imagine. To love and serve people all over the world and for many generations to come. My family has been praying every day since we heard of your trial. We will continue.

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  23. You post makes me cry. What sweet peace God has given you and I appreciate you sharing your life with us in blogland! You were even in my dreams last night!:)

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  24. Praising the Lord that you are feeling better sister Jaynee!
    I thank you for your testimony, the Lord has used it to speak volumes to my spirit!
    You all remain in our prayers and may the Lord continue to bless you all!!

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  25. Jaynee,
    Your words have touched my heart.
    I have been in prayer for you all and am glad you are finding your strength.
    I love the peace you have and your faith is amazing.
    Blessings,
    Cathy

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  26. I am so glad to hear God prepared your heart ahead. He is good.

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  27. Thank you for your update today jaynee! :) what a BLESSING to hear that you are doing well physically, that you are finally GOING (and i'm SURE that makes you feel SO amazing) and that GOD is healing your heart in and through this as well :)
    we'll continue to pray for complete healing :)
    love tons,
    misty in NC
    ps - my husband says i type with alot of "so's" too! :) ha!!!!! :)

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  28. Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony. I have followed your families journey and have always felt your love for our savior and your chidren You are such a great example of one who follows in his ways. May your heart feel peace and body heal quickly.Our prayers continue for you and your family.

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  29. Sooo Jaynee, it was so good to hear your update and read what was brewing in your heart. What an amazing God we serve.

    Praising the Lord for you and that you didn't try to change Daniels mind :-) God really does know what HE is doing doesn't he? :-)

    I will continue to pray for your healing, health and heart~

    I'm so glad you're feeling better too, what a relief to get all that swelling down.

    Praising God for all the little and big Lockwoods :-)

    gently sending hugs~ Cinnamon

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  30. Continuing to pray for you!!! Thank you for sharing your heart.

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  31. I am SO SO happy to hear that you're continuing to feel better and that you were able to get rid of all the excess fluid! Praise the Lord for His healing & peace.

    Love!

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  32. I am also sooooo glad you shared your heart with the world...I was concerned about not only your health but your heart and how you were feeling about that jar on your dresser. Surrender is such a peaceful place to be. Thank you for your example. This week as I was praying for you (even at night when I was up with a toddler) it seemed my life was put in better perspective. I don't know that I will be here tomorrow to care for my family...I want to live with no regrets, and be thankful today for my life and strength.
    I was also thinking how good of God to allow Hna. Tola to begin helping you a few weeks before this...so she was able to be there with your children. I am concerned that you will get back to work too soon...I will be praying that you have sufficient, reliable help until you are completly healed. I know it will be hard to stay on the couch once you are feeling alittle better, but you must!!! I wish I could pop in and help you..but the the Lord will have to send someone else.
    Love, Gwenda

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  33. Jaynee this post blesses me so much. I'm just thrilled to hear that you're doing better and better by the day. We've been praying. We love you so much and hope that some day we will see you again in person. You are an amazing woman of God. Praise God for His healing hand and for comforting your heart during the very difficult past few weeks. love you

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  34. What a blessing that you are alive and well Jaynee! I know that God was holding you close during those days and He loves you SO much! Keep resting and healing in the days to come. I'm thankful to hear that you have some help each day while you are recuperating! God is so good!! Blessings to your family.

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  35. I have been away from my computer and did not know all that had transpired in the past few days. I just wanted to let you know I will be praying for you. So thankful for your testimony. It was a blessing to read of all that had happened and how God had worked through it all. You will be in my prayers. God is so good!

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  36. Jaynee~ We went on a 3 day trip and I have been thinking of you. We pray for you lots and my children are asking lots how Mrs. Lockwood is. I was glad to read this and am praising the Lord for all He has done for you. Your attitude is contagious and such a blessing. God is so good. And that is so neat about how the Lord gave you peace with Samuel being the last one. He is SOOOOOOOO good and it just takes my breath away. Take care and keep getting strong. Love you!!!

    jessica

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  37. Ha! I was already composing my comment in my head before I read your last line...

    I am SO thankful for you! And that God chose to give you life through such a scary situation.

    Our family continues to pray for you all!

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  38. I am thankful to have found your blog, and for all you've shared going through this trial. We could not be more different - I too am a Christian who always wanted and planned to have many children, and today I am a 34 year old woman married 16 years, with no children. It's been the greatest pain and truly the greatest blessing God could have ever given me. Those of us without children or who have had great physical difficulties related to pregnancies or childbearing often look at Christian parents of many children and can't help but to see their faith on such a superficial level - yes, they love God sincerely, but they love the God who so freely and repeatedly gives them such blessings. When their God becomes a God who actually says or permits "no" in some significant and painful way, they do not always walk through the trial intact - they are shown for what kind of Christian they actually were, and whether or not they have been loving the true God. I was so blessed by this post of yours, how gently and with what mercy and love God has led you through this. It is the same as He once did for me through a dangerous and life-changing ordeal of my own. I can see and say of you, "God is there", and praise the Lord, it is very faith-strengthening to me when I really need it in such a dark world. Thank you! And thank You Father God!

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  39. Praise the Lord for your healing! What a wonderful testimony! Your sweet spirit and attitude just shines through, and it is so wonderful to see someone who has been through such a trial completely resting in the Lord. God Bless you and your family!

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  40. Wow. I haven't been here in a while and I actually came by to see if you had a new blessing on the way. I guess it just depends on what kind of blessing a person means. :) We have also left how many children we have up to the Lord. So far we are expecting number 10 in just a couple of weeks. I sometimes wonder how I will feel when we have our last one. I really appreciate this post and your peace about all that has happened. I (selfishly) hope I don't have to face that soon, but if I do, I pray that I will have that same peace. God bless you all.
    Also, I saw the post on your Christmas boxes and will discuss it with my husband. We are in a tight situation right now, but maybe we can come up with something. :)

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