"7. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 8. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 10. Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.
13 We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak; 14 Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. 15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.
16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."
Wow, what a hard yet blessed past couple of weeks. There is just so much I want to share with you all...though we may never know all the "whys" and "hows" on this side of eternity, the Lord has shown us and taught us so much through this time. This was the hardest trial we have ever faced so far...we would have never chosen it...yet we are so grateful for the Lord allowing us to go through it.
First, an update on Daniel. He is doing so much better. Just mere days ago, he was so discouraged thinking he would never want to or be able to eat again. Yesterday, he was hungry! :) He's been wanting American food; yesterday, we all sat down at our dining room table together WITH DADDY and had baked chicken breast, mashed potatoes, and salad. Everyone agreed that it was the best tasting meal ever! :)
Daniel really wanted to share with the people in our church yesterday. I knew he physically wasn't up to the task, but his heart so wanted to be there...even if only for a little while. Brother Macario picked up the people and we met them at the building. Daniel sang a couple of songs with them, and then got tired, so he just pulled up a chair, sat down, and shared for a few minutes from his heart. It was a sweet service and everyone was so glad to see him. The rest of the day, Daniel slept or visited in the living room with the children and I. His incision site and "insides" are still very sore, but if they are careful not to "bump", the children are able to sit on daddy's lap again. That does everyone's heart good! :)
The doctors are still very puzzled over everything that happened. We know this...the Lord directed everything. We know that there were thousands of people praying on our behalf. Was it something worse and the Lord healed Daniel? Why didn't Daniel have any symptoms of what they now think his problem was? We know that if they hadn't opened him up when they did and had waited, he would probably be in the hospital fighting for his life right now.
What I didn't share at the time this was happening was that the Lord had been specifically preparing me for this for some time...I would say a few months. One of my biggest fears in life has always been to lose my husband. For many, many weeks, I kept feeling that the Lord was telling me that he was going to take Daniel home. I tried to not think about it, but the thought persisted. It wasn't a fearful thought...but more like the Lord gently preparing me.
When we were told it was cancer, I begged the Lord to spare Daniel's life and heal him. I cried and prayed for hours. The Lord so gently, lovingly, and peacefully spoke to my heart each time I prayed. But each time, He didn't give me the answer that I wanted Him to. He filled my heart with the peace that passes understanding, gave me a calm assurance, gave me the faith to just trust Him fully, and He said to me, "Jaynee, it is going to be okay. I am going to take your husband home, but I will take care of you."
Oh, that was so hard. I wanted to hear something else...I wanted Him to say, "It will be okay...Daniel is going to be fine." But He didn't. I couldn't fight; and finally, He gave me the grace to say, "Okay Lord. He is yours. You can have him. I trust you." Words so simple, yet so hard. But my heart was at rest and peace.
When the doctor, being very surprised himself, came in that evening after surgery and gave me the wonderful report, I could hardly believe it. I cried and fell on my knees thanking the Lord. Oh, I was so amazed and humbled by His goodness and grace!
A couple days later, I was talking to my mom on the phone and she gave me an example that fits it perfectly. She reminded me of Abraham and Isaac. God told Abraham to take his only son Isaac, lay him on the altar, and offer him as a sacrifice to God. Abraham just had to trust and obey. Then God provided!
I know that the Lord wanted me to take that which I have clung to...my husband, Daniel...and put him on the altar and be willing to give him up to God for His glory. Then God provided!
We can't praise Him enough! He is so good! Thank you for the sacrifice you made in praying for and encouraging us through this. Please continue to pray for Daniel as his liver heals and he continues to recover. God is so good!
Daniel sharing Sunday Afternoon
Daddy and Noah Sunday Morning after breakfast.
Daddy and Nehemiah having some "delicate" cuddle time in the living room :)
A little blessing the week of our trial...Our banana tree we planted last year got its flower....you can see the little bananas beginning to form under the petals! :)