First picture with all 12 of our children

Daniel and his brother Joel left tonight to drive to our home in Mexico. Some things have come up that Daniel needs to tend to down there, so they left tonight and Lord willing will be home sometime on Saturday. They'll be driving over 3,000 miles this week, much of it during the night, and we covet your prayers for their safety.
The children and I will go up to the hospital twice during the day to deliver Samuel his milk and then I am hoping to get somebody to stay with them for a couple of hours each evening after they're in bed so I can cuddle and love on my little man.
Samuel continues to do well and is up to.....4 lbs. 4 oz!! And when I went up this morning, they let me feed him from a bottle! He drank about half an ounce.
This afternoon, the nurses opened the blinds just for a minute so ALL the children could get a quick peek at their baby brother. It was so wonderful to see all 12 of them together.
And speaking of babies (which is about all I've written about this month :) ), my baby sister Jacquee delivered twin girls today. They were having some trouble breathing, so my parents now have 3 grandbabies in the NICU.
Thank you for praying...especially this week as I'm without Daniel.

Morning Bliss

Hot cocoa with whipped cream sprinkled with cinnamon

Time to go visit little Samuel. I'm always sent off with lots of hugs, kisses, messages to pass along to baby brother, and waves and shouts of "bye-bye Mommy" as I drive off. :)

A little hat sent to us in the mail yesterday...a perfect fit for our perfect little boy...who, by the "weigh", gained another ounce...3 lbs. 14 oz

Sweet Samuel's first hand written letter left on his bed by his sister Abigail. It makes me smile and tear up every time I read it.

Do you see what Eliseo sees?

While much of our time and thoughts have been centered around little Samuel, we have been able to take advantage of our time here in the states to take care of some other needs.

Our little Eliseo with the big blue eyes is also our little Eliseo with the sweet crossed eyes. :) After seeing our regular pediatrician and getting a referral to a pediatric eye doctor here in town, we had our appointment last week.
Eliseo is very far sighted among other things and the doctor wants to start him with glasses to see if it helps. We return in 6 weeks and if there is no improvement, they may need to do surgery.
Eliseo's glasses came in today and he looks soooo cute! I was surprised he left them on as much as he did. As long as he was busy (looking at a book, playing with toys, with his siblings ect...) he didn't seem to notice them.
Daniel and I are heading out in a few minutes to visit Samuel :). I just love all my babies!

Going up!

Today our little Samuel is just a little bit bigger....he not only reached, but passed his birth weight. At his weigh in this morning he was 3 lbs 13 oz! The nurses think they have finally figured out a good plan to help this little guy keep down his milk. They are keeping his feedings at 1 oz. every three hours, but are giving him that 1 oz feeding over a period of 2 hours. So basically, he is almost always eating.
Daniel gave a report on Samuel at his Uncles' church last night and shared about Samuel's new feeding plan and Uncle Tom said, "Well, that's not surprising...almost all the Lockwoods I know are always eating!" :) So I guess Samuel takes after his siblings in more than just his looks.

The first time we met

After a bit of a rough past week after several bouts of not being able to hold down his milk, little Samuel is doing much better this week. In fact, I think he might reach back up to his birth weight at his weigh in tonight.
Susannah and Noah were the final "eligible" ones to meet their new brother this week (siblings have to be 3 years old or older to enter the NICU, so Nehemiah and Eliseo will have to wait to meet Samuel until he comes home).
I brought Susannah with me to visit yesterday afternoon and wish I hadn't forgotten the camera. At least I remembered the milk this time. Sunday, before morning church service, we all drove to the hospital to deliver Samuel his milk. As we entered the parking lot, I reached in my bag to get it and realized I'd left it in the refrigerator at home...I can't blame that one on my pregnant brain anymore, so I'll go with lack of sleep :)
Noah came up with me today and I loved watching his face as I placed Samuel in his arms for the first time. I remembered the camera this time :) and our nurse and I took some pictures.








Thank you so much for praying. Each day I wake up and think, "We are one day closer to bringing our little Samuel home". I can't wait to be together as a family again.

Samuel's Song

Little Samuel you're so dear,
How I love it when you are near,
Your name means that God does hear,
He's always with you so never fear.

Three times each day

Dear Samuel,
Three times each day, we see your precious face. While we pray for you constantly throughout the day, three times a day we pray with you. In the morning, it's Daddy's turn to go. He brings you your milk and usually gets to see the doctor and ask how you are doing. The past couple of days, you had a rough time and they had to stop feeding you. One night, you stopped breathing several times, but last night, they told us you were doing much better. They gave you some medicine to calm your tummy and then they give you caffine to help keep you breathing. Isn't it funny how carefully I tried to avoid caffine when you were inside me? :) I'm so thankful that God has given the doctors wisdom and they are able to help little babies like you. Daddy is up visiting you right now. He took Isaiah with him today. Isaiah is so excited to finally meet you...he combed his hair, tucked in his shirt, and wore his church shoes. I'll be coming to see you this afternoon...in the afternoons it is mommy's turn. I'm going to bring Josiah up today. I haven't told him yet, so he'll be so surprised. While I'm still too tired to do school full time, I have your brothers/sisters do something each day. Do you know what they are doing right now? They are all writing you letters/coloring you pictures. I'll bring them with me this afternoon and hang them by your bed. You are so very loved sweet Samuel. Tonight, mommy and daddy will come visit you together. Isn't it so thoughtful to have had so many people offer to watch the children here at home so we can see you each night? Last night, I got to hold you for over an hour. They gave me a rocking chair and I rocked and sang to you and you just slept in my arms. All too soon, it was time to go. I took your temperature and changed your diaper. Daddy and I both think you have the littlest, cutest bottom ever. I think we are tied now for the number of diapers we have changed for you. It's so fun to take care of you. I've never seen Daddy want to change a diaper as much on the other children as he does on you. :) Do you like the song I made up for you? Your brothers and sisters said it is the best song yet. I think I must get better with practice. :)
I can't wait to see you today...just 2 more hours to wait! Even though we can only be with you three times a day, Jesus is with you every moment. Oh, I'm so glad He gave you to us and that we can rest in knowing He cares for you so well. I love you.
love,
Mommy

Happy almost 1 week old Samuel and Happy 11th Birthday Elijah!

I just want to say that your prayers for strength for me have been so graciously answered. Today I finally felt a bit more normal :). These past few days have certainly been challenging. The hardest part for me apart from the exhaustion has been going day by day...or more like moment by moment...not really sure what we are doing. It is easy for me to become discouraged or overwhelmed when our days lack order, yet we're still trying to figure out how to best balance our responsibilities at home in addition to caring for/spending time with our Samuel. Sometimes I just want to cry...well, I do cry. But then I feel better and even in the most difficult of days, I've seen the Lord's loving hand caring for our every need. Sometimes the nights are so lonely as I sit awake getting milk to take to our baby in the morning. I can't wait for the day we can bring him home and I can wake up to feed and cuddle with him. I ask the Lord to help me be content; to help me to keep my mind on Him; and I'm just so thankful that He is always with me and there with our little Samuel too. What a friend we have in Jesus! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
Samuel continues to do well. The nurses tell me that he's a very good boy :) He had a rough night last night and couldn't keep down any of his food. But he filled his diaper 3 times today as they let his digestive system rest and his x-rays and blood tests came back normal, so they think he just needed to "do his business". They were going to start feeding him again this afternoon and hopefully he will keep it down.
What seems to work best is for Daniel to go up to the NICU in the morning to take up the milk, talk with the nurses/doctor, and spend time with Samuel. Then I try to go up in the afternoon while the younger ones are napping. I took Abigail with me today. She wrote a sweet little letter to her new baby brother to tape up on his bed. Then in the evening, if we have someone to watch the children, Daniel and I go up together...this is my favorite time :) Last night I got to hold him for about an hour; I love to sing to him like I do with all our children as I tuck them in bed for the night.

Yesterday was Elijah's 11th birthday. Elijah is such a sweetheart. He is always willing to help me with whatever I need. He's so good with his baby brothers especially.
Elijah LOVES to read and study and memorize and learn! He loves books! He writes and draws very well and I love hearing him play the piano.
Something that I love about Elijah is how quick he is to take heed to instruction. If we tell him, for example, the importance of washing his hands before eating, he will be looking for a sink and some soap before every meal. If we tell him how good it is to rise early, he'll do it right off the bat.
He loves to make jokes and as corny as some of them are, he always has us laughing.
We wanted to make his birthday special but hadn't had much time to plan. One of the nurses in the NICU who has known Daniel and I since we were children, gave us a gift card to In and Out burger. So we all went out for cheesburgers and fries and Elijah got a chocolate shake too! :) Then, Daniel took all the children bowling. They had so much fun and you should have heard them cheer for each other. They put up the guard rails on the gutters so even the little ones were able to knock down some pins every time. I think I had the most fun just sitting down next to Eliseo and watching. :)
Grandma and Grandpa came over in the evening to watch Elijah open his presents and we had cherry pie for dessert. I'm so thankful the Lord gave us Elijah...little brother to 1, big brother to 10 :)

4 Days Old

First, I apologize for giving so many a scare with the title of the last post. I should have thought that through a little better. The past few days have been wonderful/overwhelming/and somewhat of a blur, and while I've wanted to update here sooner, the free moments have been few and far between.
Sunday morning, I was discharged from the hospital. The wound from my c-section has not bothered me much at all. I had to have 3 of the staples removed before I left because they were a bit infected, but I'm so thankful the pain has been minimal and easily controlled with an advil.
The hardest part of my recovery has been from the loss of blood before/during/and after the surgery. My heart feels like it is beating out of my chest sometimes and just taking a shower or any other small task leaves me exhausted. My last H and H counts were about 7.9 and 23 which are low, but seem to have stabalized.
While I'm sooo happy to be back home with the children, it's been challenging as I have to pump every 3 hours day and night and then just all the trips back and forth to the hospital to deliver the milk/spend time with Samuel coupled with taking care of the children back here at home. I am soooo tired! But I am soooo thankful.
As I remember lying there on that operating table and hearing the doctor say the placenta came out, I am so filled with praise and thanksgiving toward our wonderful God.
I am thankful for those that have provided meals for our family as that has saved us time/energy/money that we have been able to invest in Samuel. And I'm grateful for those that have come by in the evening to sit with the children while they sleep so Daniel and I can visit our little boy together. I treasure those special evenings when it's just the 3 of us.
Samuel is doing great! The night before I was discharged, I went into the NICU to bring him milk and they let me do kangeroo care with my sweet boy for an hour. For those who do not know, that is when you hold your baby skin to skin while covered with blankets. We will be able to hold him more after he's done with his bili light therapy. He's up to taking 12 cc's of milk via his feeding tube and as he is able to increase the amount there, they continue to gradually decrease the amount of nutricion he receives through his PICC line (TPN). Today is the last day of his antibiotic too! :)
When I went up to see him early this afternoon, the only thing he had on his face was the eye mask to protect his eyes from the light thearpy and the little feeding tube down his nose. The nurse turned off the lights and removed his "shades" for a few minutes so I could love on him and it was the first time I'd seen his face so clear of wires/tubes ect... He's just so beautiful.
Each day when we go up to visit, we try to take a different child along to meet their littlest brother. Timothy, Elijah and Rebekah have all had a turn and can't believe how small and cute he is! Nobody can wait until he gets to come home! We are praying that Samuel will continue to do well and will be able to come home closer to the 4 week time frame rather than the 8 week one (as the doctors told us he will be there 4-8 weeks).
Today I would have completed 33 weeks in my pregnancy. I was telling Daniel this morning that while this was the shortest pregnancy I'd ever had, it seemed like the longest! From week 11 on, we wondered if we would ever be able to meet this new child; those days I carried him inside me were filled with prayer and thankfulness as they continued to pass and I continued to feel his little kicks. And now he's here...so sweet, so small, and such a special boy...Samuel- God has Heard.

2 minutes in my arms...forever in my heart

My sweet little Samuel,
Yesterday I got to hold you! While the first time I held each of your brothers and sisters was wonderful, holding you made my heart so happy I can't even describe it. It was one of the most amazing 2 minutes of my life; I will never forget it and wish I could have held you forever. You are so little and fragile that the nurses couldn't let me hold you very long, but I have and will continue to hold you close in my heart every minute of each day. Mommy tried hard to not let you get wet by my tears so you wouldn't get cold.
You know, Mommy had a hard day yesterday. I had looked forward to seeing you all day, but I was so weak from all the blood loss I was having a hard time getting up. My sweet nurse came in about 9 pm and asked if I wanted to try to get into a wheel chair. It was so hard, but I wanted to see you so badly. I just wanted to touch you one time. Your wonderful daddy and the nurse were so patient. Mommy was so dizzy and felt so sick, but they kept putting cold wash cloths in my face and neck and took me down the halls very slowly. When we finally got into the NICU, I wasn't sure if I could make it because they keep it so warm in there for you and all the other little babies and it made mommy feel so sick. The nurse washed my hands really well for me and we finally made it to your bed.
I looked up and there you were...breathing all on your own! What a strong little man you are. I touched your sweet tiny head full of dark hair and then your nurse asked me if I wanted to hold you. Daddy said nobody had held you before, so I would get to be the first. The moment they placed you in my arms I didn't feel sick at all. Do you remember what I told you? I told you how much I love you and miss you. I told you what your name means and how much Jesus loves you. I told you how perfect God made you and how much you look like your brothers and sisters who can't wait to meet you. I told you to not be scared and that Jesus was with you and I would come back as soon as I could. Our time was up because we both needed to get more rest.
Did you sleep well last night? Your nurses are so kind and are taking such good care of you. Mommy slept well last night and feel much stronger this morning. Each time my nurse woke me up to give me my medicines, I would instantly think of you and what sweet sleep I had as you make my heart overflow with love and joy. I think you were the best "medicine" they gave me!
I can't wait to see you again today Samuel. So many people are praying for you and we KNOW that God hears! I love you so much.
love,
Mommy

We proudly introduce to you.....

Samuel Thomas Lockwood
March 12, 2009
10:04 pm
3 lbs. 12 oz
17 in.
"God Has Heard"

(Pictures of our sweet newest blessing for whom you all prayed for so long can be found at the bottom of this post.)

I can hardly see to type as tears fill my eyes. Tears of joy and a heart overcome with amazement of all the Lord has done.
For the past several weeks, I have heard our children pray for mommy and the baby as I know so many of you have so faithfully done. But I have also heard my little ones specifically pray that Jesus would make the placenta grow back the other way. They prayed this because they heard Daddy pray this very thing. Often, he would hold me, put his hand on my growing belly and ask God to let that placenta grow back out that uterine wall/muscle.
Yesterday evening around 8 pm, I had been reading in bed and got up to use the bathroom. Suddenly, I began to hemorrhage again. It was so bad that I couldn't get back to my bed to call the nurse for a minute or so; the bleeding was coming so quickly. When I finally made it back to bed, I was covered in blood and my nurse came into the room and immediately called for help.
My brother and his wife arrived a few minutes later and it was so good to have them here while everyone was deciding what to do. Finally the doctor came in to assess the situation and after seeing I'd lost well over 1000 ml of blood, he said, "It's time". Our baby had just about completed 32 weeks and 3 days inside me and it was time to meet him.
Everything happened so very quickly. I called Daniel right away and he had just finished feeding, bathing, and pj-ing the children and as he already had planned to come see me that evening, the baby sitter was on her way and his brother's wife was in town and came right over to the house so Daniel could get up here.
Dr. Van Kirk works with 5 other ob/gyns in that they take turns during the nights/weekends being on call for all of their patients. I had met 4 of those other doctors and I was so happy when I found out my favorite of the 4 was on call and would be doing the surgery.
Another blessing, my ob doctor with Elijah and Beka, and my now dear friend, Dr. Edwards, was on the floor that evening as she had a patient in labor. I had been praying it would work out for her to assist with the surgery and be with me as she had offered to and has been so encouraging to me this pregnancy. When she heard I was going to have the baby, she came right in and was with me the entire time.
Daniel got here in time, got on his scrubs, and they wheeled me down the hall. Once they got my spinal in and prepped for surgery, Daniel came in, we cried and prayed together, and then he sat by my head and held my hand. Oh, I was SOOO happy and felt SOOO relieved when he came into the room. I have had my last 3 c-sections in Mexico by myself as husbands are not allowed in the room, and while the Lord had given me tremendous peace throughout the entire evening, just having my husband at my side lightened every fear and I felt so safe.
They began the surgery and Daniel and I quoted Psalms 23 together. I was unsure when they finally pulled out our baby because he didn't cry for a while, but I finally heard he was here and the NICU team was working on him. I couldn't take my eyes off the table where he lay; I couldn't see him as everyone was gathered around working on him, so I just cried and prayed for the Lord to take care of him for me.
They finally had to wisk him away to the NICU but let me know that he was doing good all things considering. Daniel stayed by my side while we waited to hear how serious the placenta accreta or increta was. I knew that if they couldn't get it out right away, they would put me under general anesthesia.
I could feel the pulling and tugging and then I heard words I will never forget as long as I live..."The placenta is out. No problem, no accreta, no increta. It detached beautifully". Daniel questioned the doctor to make sure we had heard him right and he assured us it looked great.
He said my uterus was nice and thick and in wonderful shape. My brave and curious hubby was so elated that he even asked if he could watch part of the surgery which they let him! They stapled me all back up and took me to recovery. I had lost an additional 1,000 ml. of blood during the surgery and was continuing to bleed heavily, so they gave me a couple more units of blood, after which, I felt so much better.
Daniel was able to go back and forth between the waiting room (my parents, Uncle Tom, Pastor Ryan, his brother Joel, my sister Jessee, and my brother Joshua and his wife Hope were all there), the NICU and my recovery room.
They took me back to my room between 1:30 and 2:00 am. Daniel and I talked a while going over and over the events of the evening, praising the Lord who truly worked a miracle, and marveling in His goodness. Daniel fell asleep, but I continued to bleed and need bi-hourly assessing. I don't think I could have slept anyways as all I could to is thank the Lord and think about our little baby boy I hadn't even been able to see yet.
In the morning, Daniel woke up and we decided something very important...Justin Other's real name! :) You see, we had settled on a name a while ago and wanted to keep it a surprise. But a short time ago, Daniel told me that he just wasn't sure about it. We went back and forth about many names and couldn't decide. Daniel likes nice, strong simple names like John, Paul ect... and I like name that have at least 3 syllables. :) But I asked this week especially that the Lord would soften my heart to be happy with whatever name Daniel wanted and that the Lord would give us wisdom in choosing a name.
A few hours before my big bleed, my brother in law Samuel and my sister in law Leah were visiting me. We were talking about names and I was just simply curious and asked Samuel if he knew what his name meant...to which he answered "God has heard". I honestly didn't think anything other that what a nice meaning it had. We had never used a name of any of our siblings or the children's first cousins, so I didn't think much of it.
In the OR room, shortly after the doctor told us the wonderful news, I was just talking with Daniel while they worked on me and I told him about visiting with Samuel and Leah and what Samuel's name meant. This morning, when he woke up, he asked me again what Samuel meant. I looked it up online just to make sure and read, "God has heard". We both smiled at each other and we both knew that was the name. What a wonderful meaning for our little son and his mommy who were prayed over so much and we proudly and humbly announce to any who ask "God has heard!"
I am feeling so much better than I expected. My pain isn't horrible, and they are currently giving me another couple units of blood as I'm still unable to sit up without everything going black. They brought me some crackers, pudding, and juice and between some food, fluids and blood, I hope to be up and walking sometime this afternoon. I can't WAIT to walk because once I can get up, I can go see sweet Samuel. Daniel went in this morning and took about 25 pictures of him for me. I can hardly believe he's really here! Pray I'll be able to go to him today...I think he is just the most handsome little man just like his Daddy. I just LOVE having babies! Thank you Lord!
Some fun facts, if you've made it down this far :), about Samuel:
He was born on 3/12 and he weighed 3 lbs 12 oz. :) And he's our 12th :) And there are 12 letters in his first+middle name. His middle name Thomas is given to him in honor of Daniel's uncle, Uncle Tom, who has been like a father to him and been a tremendous blessing and encouragment to Daniel and the rest of our family.
Thank you so much for praying and please continue to pray for a speedy recovery for me so I can see and spend lots of time with sweet Samuel and especially pray for Samuel. He is doing as well as is expected, but with preemies, things can change quickly. But we know that Jesus is holding our son in His hands just as much now as He was in my womb. He is so wonderful!

Baby is Here -- A PRAISE Report!!

Another phone call with an update just came in. It's about 1 a.m., CST.

The Baby arrived safely via C-Section. The C-Section only took 15 minutes, and the placenta was not attached to anything!! Praise Jesus! Mrs. Lockwood is in recovery and doing fine. It was a miracle and an answer to prayer.

Baby Lockwood cried after birth, another blessing. He is pretty small (under 3 pounds), and he was taken to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). We haven't heard his name yet :-).

Those are all the details we know for now. :-) Thank you VERY VERY much for your prayers--Mr. and Mrs. Lockwood are grateful for them.

"For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." (Psalms 139:13-14)

Heading into Surgery for C-Section

Please pray for Mrs. Lockwood and baby. (We are friends of the family, and we were asked to post this prayer request.)

She began bleeding heavily, and she's headed in right now for surgery for the C-Section. The phone call came around 11:30 p.m., CST, on Thursday, the 12th. We know they would greatly appreciate your prayers during this time. Thank you for your faithfulness in lifting them up before our Lord Jesus!

32 weeks 3 days

The doctor came in this morning and said he was very pleasantly surprised that I am still pregnant. To me, that shows how the Lord is hearing and answering your prayers and reminds me that we are completely in His loving hands.
Daniel has brought the children up most every day. Yesterday, they brought me more letters/pictures for my gallery :)
They have let me walk down the hall occasionally and the other day I walked with the children back to the elevator. They funny/sad thing was that when the elevator doors opened and Daddy led them all inside, they turned around and saw me waving good bye and then....burst into tears. Some of them thought I was going home with them; apparently the fact I was hooked up to an iv and wearing my pj's and robe didn't convey the message I was staying still. But I called them a couple hours later and they were happy and excited about visiting me the next day.
Elijah's 11th birthday is on Tuesday, and provided baby hasn't come, we're planning a party here :) We've been blessed by dear families in the church providing suppers for the family and also sitting with the children after they've gone to bed for the night so Daniel can come visit me a bit. We are so very blessed and grateful for everyone who has prayed for us, helped lighten our load, and encouraged us these past weeks. We are one day closer to having this precious baby in our arms and introducing him to all who have loved him so much already.